A Battle of Wills in the Nerd Cave

"You promised you'd keep it classy."

“You promised you’d keep it classy.”

     Anytime you find yourself telling your spouse, “You’re not the boss of me,” you’ve gotta figure things aren’t going well.  But those words actually exited my mouth last night and I thought I’d relate the story for your consideration. Discuss amongst yourselves.

     A few weeks ago, I was lounging in the tub cruising eBay.  Yeah, don’t try to picture it. Anyway, I was looking for comic book promo posters to hang in my comic cave (aka the “His” half of our “His & Hers” walk-in-closets). Back in the day, you used to get them in Wizard, Previews, and around the comic shop.  I’ve always liked hanging them with my comic collection to give me that comic shop vibe. Only a fat, neck-bearded white guy standing in the corner ignoring me would amp up the authenticity any better.

     I found several good candidates, and in the course of browsing one seller’s wares, I stumbled across the poster pictured above. Obviously it’s a parody of really bad 1970’s cinema.  I give you…”Hot Cocoa Bang Bang.”

     Now when I pulled it up on my phone, I immediately LOL’d and I still chuckle every time I see it. It just makes me happy on the inside.  I’d never seen The Cleveland Show–from which the poster originated, but something about it just makes me laugh. However, my lovely wife does not share my love of Hot Cocoa Bang Bang. At all

     I ordered it and when it arrived, I was informed that it would look great in the Nerd Bunker–my exterior storage closet turned workshop. Or the Comic Cave…just anywhere where it would never be seen by humankind. Hmmm.

      I put the poster away until last night.  I stopped at Hobby Lobby after work to get a frame for a different print for the Nerd Cave and they had some nice/cheap 11×17 frames on sale, so I picked one up for Hot Cocoa. Twenty minutes after arriving home, she hung proudly on the wall.  My kids, who think it’s hilarious, went out of their way to not only tell my wife that I’d hung it, but they rubbed her nose in it pretty badly. I suppose I was hoping she wouldn’t notice it. But thanks to their nyah-nyah-nya-ing, I got some pretty serious attitude and sass.  Hmmm.

      This morning, the ice water was still running cold and I got an email at work telling me she hates the poster and then she hit me with “What happened to your promise to keep it classy?” I half-expected the next sentence to be “you’ll be hearing from my attorney.”

     To be honest, I’m not entirely sure the words “I’ll keep it classy” ever left my piehole. Maybe she said it and I vaguely nodded or something.  Perhaps a grunt.   She has apparently also conducted a (non-scientific) poll of her yenta friends. The question was, “would you allow this to hang in your home?”  Anyone wanna guess the results?

     Do I need to point out that while HBCC is technically hanging in “her house,” it’s more accurately hanging in “my room?”  Just saying.

     Now, as the sophisticated nerd that I am, I don’t expect the civilian population to see eye to eye with me on every, shall we say, “design decision” I make in my sanctum sanctorum.  Not everybody gets it.  And I get that.

This is the Nerd Cave. Our ways are not your ways.

This is the Nerd Cave. Our ways are not your ways.

     Just within the last month, I’ve had two repair guys in the Cave–Direct TV and the burglar alarm guy. I always expect a question or two.  I mean, I’d like to think it’s not every day my man runs into an inflatable Cthulhu tentacle peaking out from behind the couch. But neither batted an eye when they walked in.  My feelings were a bit hurt to be honest. I’d be lying if I said I don’t get a sense of satisfaction anytime a dude (with the occasional lady) sees the room for the first time and hits me with a “Wowwwww…”

     So I get that my taste may not be for everyone and certainly isn’t my wife’s. But I was a bit taken aback at her reaction to Hot Cocoa Bang Bang.  And my response was to, of course, double down and drop, “Your not the boss of me” on her.  So ironically, we apparently have a “cold” war revolving around “hot” cocoa. Hmmm.

     Until next time…stay nerdy my friend.

Copyright 2014 It Came From The Nerd Cave