World of Nerdcraft–HULK GLAZE!!!



     What up nerds of Earth?  I took some time off last week and had a “stay-cation” with my kids during the last week of their Summer before the start of school. While I failed miserably at my one goal of NOT taking any naps, I did get some nerdy stuff done and thought I’d share some of it with my seven loyal readers.

     One of the cooler shops in our town is a little “glaze your own pottery” operation.  They have tons of different unglazed pottery pieces in pretty much any category you could want–from ceramic tarantulas for Halloween to full blown art pieces that only an expert could pull off. You pick it out, glaze it, leave it, and they fire it in their kiln.  You pick up your masterpiece about a week later.

     I gather they do pretty good business with kids’ birthday parties (my daughter had her 5th there) but they welcome walk-ins as well.  Driving by a couple of weeks ago, I thought it’d be a good place to take the kids while I was off work for a week but I didn’t personally plan on actually doing any crafting myself.  My Kickstarter app ain’t gonna surf itself, you know.

     My son picked out a pirate skull piggy bank and my daughter an owl piggy bank–she’s all into owls lately, which I admit I don’t entirely get.  I was helping them get their glazes and brushes together and was going to settle in to observe when I spotted a half-painted Hulk cookie jar sitting on the “To Be Completed” rack.

     Apparently you can come back if you can’t finish your piece all at once–but you have just 30 days to do so–which is fair. I didn’t see any other Hulk heads in evidence and asked the owner if she happened to have another one “in the back.”  “No,” she said, but she then offered to wash off the half-completed one for me.  “They’re not coming back,” she said.   On top of that, she offered to sell it to me for 1/2 off.  “Works for me–wash that bad boy,” I told her.

     Ten minutes later she came back with my Hulk.  Except for the original dark green in the recesses of the big guy’s gums (which ended up looking cool), you almost couldn’t tell it had ever been painted. I gathered my palette of Kermit Green, Black, & Ivory (Hulk’s color scheme is admittedly simple), and got to work.  About 90 minutes and three coats of glaze later, I was done. I did, you’ll probably note, get a little jiggy with it by adding a wash of red glaze to his eyes and a reflective dot to his pupils. Just some happy little bloodshot Hulk eyes, as a certain awesomely afro’d painting instructor might’ve said.


     My wife picked up Hulk, my son’s pirate skull, and my daughter’s owls this afternoon.  I asked her to send me a pic–I’ve been inordinately excited to see this thing–but instead she sent me a screen capture from the shop’s Facebook page.  They’d posted their own photo, having been, I assume, impressed with my work.  Boom!  I’m going viral up in here with my mad pottery skills.

You knew there was going to be some purple worked in, right?

You knew there was going to be some purple worked in, right?

     Also found out they’re having a kids night coming up and I’m thinking about trying my hand at one of the Iron Man or Spider-Man busts they have on hand.  And yes, I realize I’m not who they had in mind for “kids night” but hey, when in Rome…I’d probably obsess too much over getting the web design on Spidey just right though.  On the other hand, if they happen to have Hulk back in stock, a grey version would look pretty cool. What’s the over/under on how long it would take for somebody to tell me, “You know…Hulk isn’t grey.” It’d be a good opportunity to go all Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy on some seven year old.

     So, if you happen to have a similar pottery shop near you, I highly recommend you give it a try.  We had a blast, it didn’t cost a ton of money, and I now have a new favorite thing in my nerd cave. Plus, you know…cookies.

     I’ll be back soon with another update. Hint–I actually built (aka “finished”) a model kit. I can’t hardly believe it myself.   Until then…stay nerdy my friends.

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