Misc. Musings–August 2013

Call The Discovery Channel!!! Megalodon spotted in Gulf Shores, Alabama.

Call The Discovery Channel!!! A Megalodon was just spotted in Gulf Shores, Alabama.

     Greetings nerds of Earth! I’m back from vacation and gearing up for a fall season chock full of nerdy goodness.  July was a bit busy with various stuff, so I thought I’d jump on here to drop some random thoughts on you…

From the “Things Not To Say When Your Wife Falls Down The Stairs” File:

     So, the family spent a really enjoyable four days on the Gulf Coast last week.  After last year’s dark, musty & cramped hotel room in Destin (1st World problems, anyone?), my lovely wife booked us a nice little condo across the street from the beach in Gulf Shores, Alabama.

     Being built on stilts, one must ascend stairs to get into the condo, and being a two-story abode, more stairs to get to the master bedroom.  Well, if I thought my bum knee was improving, those four days shot that notion down.  And note to self…racing your eight year old up the ladders of the U.S.S. Alabama with an arthritic knee…not so smart. I was popping Advil like they were going to stop making them.

     Anyway, one afternoon we’re leaving the condo to head over to the beach.  Since I was the keeper of the key, I was the last one out.  As I turned to start my descent after locking the door, I witness my wife stumble off the concrete at the bottom of the steps and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.  Clearly she’s unfamiliar with the concept of “tuck & roll.”

     And here’s what a dick I apparently am…instead of rushing down the stairs with a “HONEY ARE YOU OK?,” I, without missing a beat, start spouting “DOWN GOES FRAZIER!  DOWN GOES FRAZIER” in my best Howard Cosell impression. That means “Frazier” is pronounced “Fray-zhuh.”  I strive for accuracy.

     Now, in my defense, I did note that she wasn’t apparently injured.  It was one of those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” kind of tumbles onto sandy/grassy ground.  There was no blood or snapping bone sounds.   Also, it was a REALLY good Cosell impression.  On the downside, my kids picked up on it and in the way that children will beat a dead horse, continued to quote the line well into the next day. Now that I think about it, I might need to be sending some flowers.

Q: When is a comic book store NOT a comic book store?
A: When it barely contains any comics.

Or are there?

Or are there?

     As a 24/7 geek, I’m always on the lookout for ways to indulge my nerdiness, and that includes when I’m on vacation. Most of the time, that’s limited to a trip to the local Barnes & Noble for a trade paperback and magazine or five.  So imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon a comic book store a stone’s throw from the beach.

     In keeping with my policy to not kick a brother when he’s down, I’m not gonna name the store. Maybe my expectations were just too high when I busted in ready to browse some comics and TPBs. Unfortunately, comics only made up about 10% of the store’s actual inventory.  I’m not saying the other 90% was crap with “BAZINGA!” emblazoned upon it…but it sure felt like it.

     OK nerds–on that very topic– can we make BAZINGA! go away?  I’ve seen one or two episodes of The Big Bang Theory and it just didn’t do anything for me.  From what I can gather from a Google search, BAZINGA! is what you’re supposed to yell after you play a prank on someone?  I just crapped in your bed…BAZINGA!  How is that now somehow a trademark for Geek Nation?  Personally, if someone pranks me and screams BAZINGA! in my face, I’m going to jail. But I digress.

     I rolled into this store ready to drop some $$$ on comics and trades but left spending nada/zip/nothing. Sure I love me the nerd related tchotchkes as much as the next guy, but I don’t need my comic shop to devote space to Tardis mugs and Walking Dead “action” figures at the expense of actual comics.  I can go to Spencers for that crap.   If you’re going to have “Comics” in your name, oh, I don’t know…actually put some comics in your store. Just sayin…

So fake documentaries are a thing now?

      I like sharks.  I’ve been interested in them ever since I saw Jaws in 1975 at age six. Apparently, babysitters were scarce in mid-1970s Southern California.

     If I ever win the PowerBall Lotto, I’d like to fly to Australia and cage dive with Great Whites.  That’s one of those Bucket List items that suggests one wear an adult diaper while one is engaging in it.  Plus I think a black wet suit would be quite minimizing on me–even with the adult diaper.

     So, I was intrigued when The Discovery Channel aired “Megalodon: The Monster That Lives” last Sunday night as the kick-off show for 2013’s Shark Week.   Having been fooled a few months ago by Animal Planet’s Mermaid mockumentary, I was pretty wary going in.  And when I say “fooled,” I don’t mean I bought it, only that it cost me two hours of my life I’ll never get back.  When you’re nearly 44, two hours isn’t chump change. If you’ve sat through Highlander 2: The Quickening, you know what I’m talking about.

     Long story short, it was fiction; entertaining, but fictional.  What really grinds my gears is this apparent new trend of presenting fiction as fact and never acknowledging it until you flash some small print for 2 seconds at the end of the broadcast.  I liked this crap alot better when it was the original War of the Worlds broadcast. Just stop TDC and Animal Planet.  Just stop.  Leave that crap to SyFy.

Dishwasher’s leaking? Sorry Honey, Duel’s on Cinemax.

Eat my dust trucker man!!!

Eat my dust trucker man!!!

      Ever have one of those movies that you’ll stop what you’re doing and watch no matter what?  Steven Spielberg’s Duel from 1971 is one of those movies for me. I got a hankering to watch it the other day and was surprised to find it was unavailable for streaming on both Netflix and Amazon.  I did a search on my Direct TV menu and what do you know, it was set to come on in a couple of days.  I set my DVR to record it yesterday afternoon and after some chores yesterday evening, sat down to watch it. Yup, still pretty good.*

     If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and track it down.  Besides being a great flick, it’s been an important influence in my career as a road rager.  To this day, I still scream at slow-moving 18-wheelers on the drive home, “C’MON YOU MISERABLE FAT-HEAD, GET THAT FAT-ASS TRUCK OUTTA MY WAYYY!”

     Well folks, that’s all I’ve got for now.  I’ll be back soon to pimp some more nerdtastic Kickstarter projects though, so stay tuned.  Until then…stay nerdy my friends.

*Movie reviews…just one of the many services I offer.

Copyright 2013 It Came From The Nerd Cave